If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines
Different versions of this joke have been floating around the net for the
past couple years, but I found this one especially hilarious. It was found
by Bruce Kingsland. The original author is unknown.

UNIX Airways
Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport.
They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece,
arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.

Air DOS
Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the
plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on
again, and so on ...

Mac Airlines
All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act
exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently
but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and
everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just
shut up.

Windows Air
The terminal is pretty and colorful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage
check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the
air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

Windows NT Air
Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes
out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

Linux Air
Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own
airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways
themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the
ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself. When you
board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of
the Seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very
comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem,
the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other
airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what
with the seat?"



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Linus Torvalds entry in Encyclopedia Galactica
The following was sent to the Linux Journal Editor by an anonymous
contributor.
Torvalds, Linus- ... historians generally agree was an actual person and
completed a large portion of the programming used to develop the positronic
brain sometime before the earliest recorded history. A number of programs
have been copied from active positronic memory and have been proven to be
based on the galactic standard programming language VM (vit-min) C. The
memory patterns include references to the genetic programmer Linus (la-news)
Pauling and have revealed where Torvalds named the earliest cores of the
positronic brain for the VM C language. Torvalds is universally regarded by
historians as the greatest linguist of the core development project.
Torvalds was known to have mastered all of the known languages of the time
while working in an advanced development laboratory called the Swiss
(s-weex) Patent Office of Pari (par-ee) and selected the VM C core in
preference to the previous Finn language from predecessors Norway (Turbo-C)
and Sweden (ANSI-C). Torvald's mastery of the language in the VM C core is
regarded galaxy wide as the reason for the estimated 100,000 year uptime for
the original positronic brains. The X Law of Robotics burned into all
positronic brains has been found still undecoded in currently functioning
examples of the oldest portion of the memory used by the LinuX kerning
(coy-nah). Historians are unanimous in identifying Torvalds as the most
ingenious programmer in galactic history.

--Encyclopedia Galactica1
1 Allusion to Isaac Asimov's Foundation Series.